"Just" a housewife

You are the Butter To My Bread

 A movie hasn't touched me like "Julie & Julia" for a long time. It's not because of the fantastic acting or the unique storyline. It's because I see myself in both characters. It's because I am learning each day how to cook. It's because I share a love of cooking with both Julie and Julia. 

My good friend Eileen said I should blog about cooking and DIY (Do-It-Yourself - the English acronym for handy work around the home.) I have been toying with this idea for a while now as my blog has sat idle for many, many months. Facebook has become my method to update the world on William and I think maybe I should have a more focused pursuit on this blog.

Sure it's been done before...Julie did just that. But why not?

Just like Julie, and Julia before her, I am an average person with no real talent, just a passion. I am fortunate to have the time to cook and one loving, hungry recipient...now I have two as I am also making home cooked meals/puree for William.

So here we are...let's give it a go. Maybe we can learn something together. On my DIY to do list are making Roman Blinds and for at least the next two months my cooking will be heavily focused on low calorie, low fat meals! I'm especially keen to cook with Quinoa!

As for the title of this blog entry, it's the beautiful quote uttered towards the end of the movie, "You are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life." I liked it.

Note: I took these two photos as part of a recipe book gift for my mother-in-law.

 

You can have it all...I've got it all...

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I can't believe it's been 7 months! I've been micro-blogging; i.e. daily Facebook status updates.

I've clearly been a bit busy with William since he was born on April 6, but not blogging since November! Wow. I've been struggling with the 'self-importance' of blogging. Who cares? Who gives a **** what I have to say? And do I really want everyone knowing my inner most thoughts (I've blogged about that before!)

Anyway, today I have pushed all that aside. I am compelled to write as I embark on a new chapter of my life!

After Friday, I will be a full-time mom. A 'stay-at-home' mom. Call it what you will. Job-less.

I resigned from HP last week. It's a company that I love. Someone once said I was so "corporate" and to me that was a compliment! But I'm leaving. I've worked with just great, talented, nice people for many years; Anna, Christina, Emily, Stephanie, Mike, Jane, Jean, Gary, Mary, Dana, Shelby, Ann, Jennifer...

But I was reminded today why I'm doing this. As someone said to me this afternoon, "as modern career women, our generation has been told we can have it all. We can have a great education, we can have a great job and be ambitious and we can do all that while having a child." 

To many that is the definition of "all." But for me, I don't want that. For me, having it all is David, William, a house I love, living in a location I love and being happy. If I have less money in my wallet, that's okay. If I have to take the train places to economize on gas and parking fees, that's okay. If I have to decline certain invitations to concerts or say no to fancy dinners, that's okay too.  

I'll miss the thrill of an acquisition announcement, the banter of the media relations team and even the exhaustion after a major crisis. I'll no longer have the feeling of pure disbelief when I am sat in the HP boardroom with none other than Mark Hurd, but despite that, I will have to remind myself that I do have it all.

I wish I had THAT talent...

Have you ever wanted a talent that you don't have? My best friend growing up, Anna, was one of the best singers I know. In fact when I first joined a new junior school after moving house, I tried out for the school choir. They auditioned you by groups of 3-4, so I figured out if I didn't actually sing, I'd make the cut. The music teacher basically cut the singers that sung badly. Since I didn't sing, she  didn't hear me singing badly!

And so I joined the choir and I got to spend more time with Anna - my new best friend!

Tonight as I was surfing the web I saw clips of Leona Lewis singing Snow Patrol's Run and then Sarah McLachlan and Pink singing Angel. Song and singers such as that inspire me and I wish I could sing. I guess in my next lifetime!

What talent do you wish you had?

An email to my family tonight

 History was made tonight for many reasons and I guess after almost 11 years, despite loving Pork Pies, Walkers Crisps and football, nothing has made me feel more American than this Presidential Election.

 

I must be really getting American-ized because I feel compelled to write to my family and share this emotion and sentiment.

 

David and I both felt fear that McCain and more worryingly that Sarah Palin could be in the White House. Wasn't Bush bad enough? How could a governor (Sarah Palin), someone who has only governed a town of 8,000 people; someone who when asked about foreign policy says she can see Russia from her house; and in an interview when asked about which publications she reads couldn't name one! Not one...not even make up Wall Street Journal or New York Times!

 

So tonight it's relief...relief that now we have a chance to right the wrongs of the last administration. As Obama said, there are going to be mis-steps and false starts, but I believe the majority of the country has faith that he'll do the right thing.

 

Much has been made about the fact that he's a black president, but I believe it's less about that than he's the best guy for the job.

 

Finally, another speech that I watched tonight was the 'defeat speech' from John McCain. It was a very gracious, class act. I respected him more after that speech than I had in any previous debate I'd watched.

 

Now, I know you, like many will probably be glad that this election is over and we can get back to normal news about Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross, but I think David and I are glad we'll be bringing our child into an Obama world!

Do we live in a cacoon?

If my Facebook friends are anything to go by, you'd think that tomorrow's election was a slam dunk for Obama. You'd think that 99% of Californian's wanted the proposition in support of Gay Marriage to pass - therefore saying no on prop 8.

However, I'm not so sure...as my work colleague said this isn't a popularity contest. It's about the electoral college. The President could be declared, yet have recieved 1 million less votes than the runner up. That's just how the American system works.

I can't begin to explain the nervousness of colleagues, friends, etc. You can see it in the status updates of my friends. You can hear it in the corridor conversations. I believe because of the economy - we're staring a recession directly in the face - people think that this election is the most important one in decades. I believe that people are very divided, more so than ever before. Many people have very strong views that depending on the outcome, our world (as we know it in the US) will change dramatically.

I hope you get what I'm trying to convey...now I'm off to more serious stuff...I'm watching Dancing With The Stars!!!

Not feeling it today...

Despite the fact that David's away (Poddy always says I blog when David's away!) I am not feeling like it today. So you'll get a boring factual blog!

But I did just have a great weekend...On Friday, David and I got in the Halloween mood with mask and witches hat! while we gave out candy.

Saturday we had a lovely dinner with great friends in Half Moon Bay. Very yummy. And I actually stayed up past 11 p.m. which was made possible after a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Oh and prenatal yoga!

Today David and I spent a nice morning at home before his flight and then I joined a friend in SF for lunch and then another friend in the East Bay for a movie...

Fun weekend...now I'm in the house watching TV...all alone.

Roll on Saturday ;-)

It's still not fair ;-)

David and I are having fun waiting and discussing names. Who knew it would be so hard? Names that I love, he doesn't. Names that he loves, I think they're okay.

I think I'm giving up until we know the sex. Which is in about 16 days...

I found out today a former colleague and friend is due 10 days after me and already knows the sex. That's not fair! See that's my favorite past time these days...complaining!

I'm totally joking, because I seem to be over my cold, over my daily nausea (I clarified daily) and I seem to have more energy at work...I'm still sleeping at the weekend in the afternoons.

And I'm actually looking pregnant rather than just like I ate all the pies...

I'm also practicing great frugality (is that a word?) We bought a rocking chair from a flee market - $40, and we got a rug for the baby room from a friend - free! Now do you think that makes it okay to buy that stroller for $1000? MMmm...I think not!

Since David is asking for name input, maybe I can ask for Stroller advice. Anyone?

I can't wait...

As David and I embarked on this journey to become parents, each month seemed like an eternity. Sometimes I wanted life to stop still, and not start again until we could reach our dream. I also felt immense frustration that life was continuing as normal and yet something we longed for was beyond our reach.

Tomorrow as I start week 15 of pregnancy, I'm still impatient, I still can't wait. This time I can't wait for a healthy child. I don't mind the passing of each weekend as Monday's have never felt so great. It signifies another major milestone in our baby's life.

I can't wait till the day our baby is born. I can't wait for the first touch, that first kiss and to smell that undeniable baby smell. I look forward to that first nappy/diaper change. And I know I will be beside myself, thinking I'm dreaming when I wake up that first morning and I'm no longer just wife of David, I'll be mom of someone... 

Many people tell me, these months will fly by. Well you know what; I don't believe a word you say.

The book is open again…

I stopped blogging in March.

It was a conscious decision. David’s mum and many, many others have described me as an open book and often my blog posts are an extension of that. So it became increasingly hard for me to blog. I couldn’t write about things I’m passionate about, or things we were doing in our life when all those things were too raw and private to explain.

For the past year, something that I had inexplicably suspected for most of my adult life came true. Unfortunately, I was not going to be one of those fortunate people for whom motherhood and falling pregnant occurred quite simply. Unfortunately, my patience and David’s support would be tested to the max. Not only that but the wonders of modern science would baffle me, bring me to tears of joy and pain (mostly pain!) and also test our financial resolve.

However, this week, David and I can share our exciting news with the world, we are three months pregnant and hopefully, around April 14th next year we will welcome a beautiful baby into the world. So now I have something else to feel passionate about, it’s only about 2 inches long, but I don’t care, it has a heart beat and all the essential organs; this is already a well loved, much wanted and thoroughly researched little baby.

I feel passionate about how we got here. Often I think about 16 or 17 year olds who too easily fall pregnant. Sometimes (I know I’m being unreasonable) I think everyone should go through the heartache that we’ve been through to get to this point. Then I believe that every single child in this world would be well loved and be so well cared for that the world would be a better place.

I also feel passionate about our friends and family who have been so supportive. As you can imagine…connect the dots – I won’t bore you with the details…we’ve been through so much in the last year, but we are lucky. It’s been just a little more than a year…some people have years of this. Some friends have been there every step of the way, knowing every detail. Every low, depressing, unfair moment. And others didn’t know it, but their acceptance and lack of questioning of me not drinking one day, only to wait for an announcement that never came (thank you Jill, Wendy and Sarah) was very much appreciated.

As many of my friends know this about me, I’m a huge planner, so this was something that I couldn’t plan. I had no control. I couldn’t work harder, work longer hours, be more determined and then it would happen… I had no control. The life of our future child was in the hands of the doctors. They played God. So I am passionate and we are eternally grateful to them for getting us here…and there’s still six months to go. But as you can imagine, I need that time to plan what stroller we’re buying, to look for a crib/cot and decide on a name (I suppose we should be thankful it’s not names…)

Right now, I’m VERY thankful for everything…including having David by my side.

My list of 10

I read Dushka's blog. She said that we should write a list of 10 things. Instantly I thought that I should focus on the positive...for a while now I've been thinking how unlucky we've been (the car was totalled, the first house fell thru, i had to have an operation, etc...) but I am making a list of positive things...

1) I am in love with an amazing man, he's kind, considerate, funny, intelligent, loving, (you get the picture!)

2) We have a lovely house. Cute, nice neighborhood enough space for us, and we have it organized and cosy after living in it for just 4 days

3) We both have good jobs

4) Our close family is healthy

5) We have great friends

6) I've traveled to many amazing places

7) I am excited about the coming months, whatever they may or may not bring (who cares if we don't have a vacation planned for the first time in YEARS!!!)

8) We now have Comcast/internet/TV working again!

9) I am about to get back to the gym after my work has finally got back to me about my gym application!

10) I get to cuddle my husband in about two seconds!